One Year Later...
One year ago today my family was hit by a drunk (or high) driver while we were on our way to Christmas Eve festivities. Lucy was still one and we had a newborn. It was as traumatizing as one can imagine, but it did not actually result in any injuries or damage. I reflected on this on my "old" blog and won't take too much time to detail the specifics today. We were rear-ended not far from our home and even though we got out of the car and talked to the obviously inebriated driver, he ended up fleeing the scene and getting into a much larger accident just half a mile down the road.
It was amazing that no one got seriously hurt that night. It was also a blessing that police were readily available and he was caught and apprehended before he could cause more damage.
Since that day I have thought about that night a lot. It comes in waves. When I am at the intersection near our house early in the morning I often think about the jolt our car felt. The immediate reaction to hold tight to my children - my husband's enraged response as he stormed out of the car to confront the driver. The feeling of embarrassment and bewilderment when the driver took off and cars whizzed by.
In a way, the event was a blessing. It made it yet even more clear how grateful I am for the life I have. But, of course there has been residual anger, sadness and fear.
One of the police officers who helped us that evening gave us all the information needed in order to track the guy's court cases. He was charged with a lot stemming from that night (the least of which was rear-ending us and leaving the scene). Throughout the year I have checked in to see what was coming from it. This was my first experience with the court system and I learned firsthand that it takes time for action to occur. He had court dates in the spring and then again in the summer. It always looked like things were "pending." I was worried that meant that he was out and about...
I checked recently and to my surprise all of the charges had disappeared. He wasn't found in the system at all. Not the current charges or the numerous charges and imprisonment he had incurred in years past. I wondered if this is what happens when you are formally convicted?
No. This is what happens when you die.
It took a little investigating (google) and I found his obituary. Dead at 28. "Beloved brother and son".
I never got punched in the stomach, but that's how I felt. I felt sad, deflated, empathetic and relieved? Everything at once - all consuming - I lost my breath. My husband felt differently - we haven't talked about it since .
How do you react when someone who nearly took your family now doesn't have one himself? Sure I am relieved, but then there is guilt for relief. I feel bad for his family as I am sure they have suffered heartily.
I forgive him for the bad decisions he made and I am thankful that someone was looking out for him, the family he nearly killed down the road and us that night. I really do hope that he has found solitude in silence.
Not sure if there is a moral to this story besides holding tight to your kids (young or old). Drive safely tonight and always.
Merry Christmas to all - yes, honestly to all.
It was amazing that no one got seriously hurt that night. It was also a blessing that police were readily available and he was caught and apprehended before he could cause more damage.
Since that day I have thought about that night a lot. It comes in waves. When I am at the intersection near our house early in the morning I often think about the jolt our car felt. The immediate reaction to hold tight to my children - my husband's enraged response as he stormed out of the car to confront the driver. The feeling of embarrassment and bewilderment when the driver took off and cars whizzed by.
In a way, the event was a blessing. It made it yet even more clear how grateful I am for the life I have. But, of course there has been residual anger, sadness and fear.
One of the police officers who helped us that evening gave us all the information needed in order to track the guy's court cases. He was charged with a lot stemming from that night (the least of which was rear-ending us and leaving the scene). Throughout the year I have checked in to see what was coming from it. This was my first experience with the court system and I learned firsthand that it takes time for action to occur. He had court dates in the spring and then again in the summer. It always looked like things were "pending." I was worried that meant that he was out and about...
I checked recently and to my surprise all of the charges had disappeared. He wasn't found in the system at all. Not the current charges or the numerous charges and imprisonment he had incurred in years past. I wondered if this is what happens when you are formally convicted?
No. This is what happens when you die.
It took a little investigating (google) and I found his obituary. Dead at 28. "Beloved brother and son".
I never got punched in the stomach, but that's how I felt. I felt sad, deflated, empathetic and relieved? Everything at once - all consuming - I lost my breath. My husband felt differently - we haven't talked about it since .
How do you react when someone who nearly took your family now doesn't have one himself? Sure I am relieved, but then there is guilt for relief. I feel bad for his family as I am sure they have suffered heartily.I forgive him for the bad decisions he made and I am thankful that someone was looking out for him, the family he nearly killed down the road and us that night. I really do hope that he has found solitude in silence.
Not sure if there is a moral to this story besides holding tight to your kids (young or old). Drive safely tonight and always.
Merry Christmas to all - yes, honestly to all.
I too remember your accident when Amy called us so upset. There was a pit in my stomach and then relief you were all physically ok. The horror of realizing how fragile life is, especially of your precious children is earth shattering. Conflicted feelings can put us all in a state of confusion. Moms and dads react differently to all sorts of situations, we learn ways to cope and try desperately to move forward. Some say an eye for an eye, yet when all is said and done we were hoping to save the world. Time will lessen the blow, but you will be forever cognizant of the world as it goes whizzing by you. Tonight I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas. May it be Joyful, bright and full of peace and love...
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