Teach Me How to Mommy

She's too high right? Right now the baby needs a helicopter parent.   She needs to be near me at all (or at least most) times.   I don’t have to worry about holding her too much – that’s my job.   I actually should swoop in if someone else is holding her and she’s crying.   She’s mine to feed, snuggle and love.   Period. How freeing. Yet, when your kids begin to change from toddlers who toddle to “big” kids who talk, run and play independently then the waters get a bit murky.   With a five and close-to-four year old, Jerry and I have been trying to figure out what kind of parents we want to be when our kids need us a little less.   Sure we want to be helicopter parents.   We want to know if their feelings are hurt.   We want to be there for all of their big and little accomplishments.   We want to discuss all their academic gains (and flubs) with their teachers.   We want... But we also want them to figure things ou...

I thought I'd have at least fourteen years before... Today my son walked into his preschool class without my help.  He went directly to his "bros" and started to talk about Star Wars (which he knows nothing about).  After I followed him and demanded a kiss I watched him wipe it off and continue playing. On the same day my daughter revealed that she has a boyfriend.  A what?  "A boyfriend, my friend and I sharing him."  Lucky guy.  At least she has good taste. It's happening too quickly, just like everyone said it would.  Luckily I have a brand new baby who needs me for everything and doesn't have the coordination to wipe off the million kisses I give her all.day.long. P.S . In other news, my daughter promised me she would stop growing when she turns five, my son still spends most of his day without any pants on and the baby still needs to nurse every three hours.  The more things change, the more things stay the same.

If you were to stop by my house (unexpectedly) anywhere between 7am-3pm you would think I have things mildly under control.  You may hear a crying baby, there may be a splatter of matchbox cars on the living room floor and you'll definitely hear Kidzbop playing throughout the house, but you won't see a (terribly) frazzled mom, sad children or filth. But if you were to stop by my house (unexpectedly) between 4-6pm you would likely see huge messes, dirty plates, a hungry, screaming baby and two toddlers who have forgotten their manners.  Many people have told me it's the witching hour.  Yes, yes, I see it now. It's the hour I suddenly have to prep a meal that represents all the food groups, while also simultaneously breastfeeding and dealing with toddlers who are beginning to unravel. So please, maybe don't come over - or, rather if you do, please come at 7 am.  I'm as fresh as a daisy then. So to the poor guy who mistakenly knocked on my door at 4:45 and wa...

It's been awhile since I've written.  I have had lots to write about, but no time.  The holidays often feel like the best marathon I've ever run (I've never run one) you push, push, push until the big day is here.  Then once it's done you need a few days to recover.  Our holiday season was all of that and more.... But last night I took down the Christmas tree.  My parents wanted to take the kids for a sleepover (umm, YES) and instead of going out my husband and I stayed in and did an overhaul of the entire house.  To be fair we did go out on two dates this week, so don't feel bad for us. We had already organized everything, but to be honest every time I started a project this week I would get one step done and then the kids would have created another project (mess) that I'd have to address making me at least ten steps behind my original place. I usually don't take the Christmas stuff down until New Year's (or the day after).  But this year I a...

It didn't dawn on me until this morning that perhaps every member of my family is adjusting differently to the news that there is a baby on his or her way.   I've been so focused on keeping up with the two I have (and a new position at work) that thinking about what happens after the baby actually gets here has not been high on the priority list. Yet I am fresh off a rough week with my youngest and all of a sudden thinking about the future is all I can think about. Sure it's been a tiring week (aren't we all feeling it).  He's also three, which has revealed its own challenges - ones that I am not accustomed to when he was two. But he's also about to be a big brother.  He's been my baby for three years and in less than two months that's going to change - permanently.  I'm a middle child - I know! So last night when he woke up at 2am, crying and moaning I pulled him close to me and placed him gently right in my bed.  He put his arms around me...

Yes you read that title right..  I had to travel to Argentina to get some sleep.  Ok, the truth is, my husband had to go on a global business week for school and his course took place in Buenos Aires.  I have wanted to go to Argentina ever since I saw the movie Evita.  You know, the one with Madonna and awesome music.  Anyways, when I found out he was going I quickly said, "I'm coming with you!" And set off to secure the grandparents for babysitting duty.  I can't stress enough how vital this trip was to my sanity and survival.  I have been at a point recently where things have gotten really difficult.  I've been tired, cranky, totally touched out (I'm now the jungle gym to 2 very active little girls), stressed and overall just stretched far beyond my limit.  I haven't slept through the night in almost 4 years (because I did not sleep during either of my pregnancies, and have 2 kids who don't like to sleep either).  Needless ...

I took the kids to a different splash pad last week and within ten minutes of splashing I observed two moms completely losing their shit. Both kids seemed to have pushed their moms' last buttons.  One for failure to apologize, the other for constant near escapes.  Both valid concerns, I too have felt my blood boil for those very reasons. I couldn't help but wonder though, had it been June, if those same moms would have been screeching, "I am so done with this kid" or "I've told you a thousand times and you NEVER listen."  Even if I think those things, I never say them out loud - I'd be too nervous of the judgement that accompanied it.  But these moms - there were no inhibitions - they were at their breaking point. I think, more likely, it's Mid-August Syndrome .  Moms, Dads, caregivers and more have spent the summers entertaining and stimulating their kids.  We've packed and unpacked for the beach, traveled to museums, spent countless, ho...

Just when you think you've got it all together.... Your son comes to tell you that there is poop on the floor.  So even though he's been potty trained for a nearly a year and ASKS for privacy when he goes, there are still mishaps.  Like, well this: He was such an easy kid to potty train...a few skittles here, a few there and BAM, bye bye diapers.  Yet, he has his quirks.  For instance, I am not sure why his own private potty ended up getting flipped over, but I do know that he was in there building a fortress with toilet paper.  It's what he does - I don't know, I tend to think it's creative and not destructive. I think my mistake was loading up the shelf with fresh new rolls (I did that at 7am).  It was all just too exciting for him. And so even though this was the first day in history that both children slept until 8am allowing me to deep clean the bathroom (again at 7am) I was right back at it at 11am. Please remind me of this as I have a ...

This site has a lot to do with mommy-ing, but we are not too proud to mention that we couldn't do it on our own.  It takes a village, sure, but it also often takes a good dad.  So today, on this utmost important day we'd like to recognize how good we have it (most days).   We know what a good Dad is, because we had two. The bar started high - but watch our guys reach it. For instance, even though today was "his day" I disassembled the car seats on a whim.  I saw crumbs I couldn't get to and it was making me crazy.  I meant to start with just taking the covers off, but it lead to taking one seat out and apart, and then naturally the other.   The positives:  My car is really clean and the kids will no longer stand up and have sprinkles and cracker crumbs stuck to their bums. The negatives:  It took my husband over an hour (in the dark) putting them back together.  I heard a lot of aggressive mumbling, but none was ever directly...

Guest Post:  Alicia is a friend from high school who is a full-time working mom of one adorable boy, Cooper.  She's also building a make-up empire and blowing up Facebook with wildly entertaining videos and tutorials.  She makes everything look easy, which is why this blog is just that much more important.  Thanks for sharing Alicia. I was asked to write something MONTHS ago, and I promise, the commitment to put my thoughts on paper has never left my mind.  I’m embarrassed it took me this long.  But to be honest, I couldn’t get myself to write down my story, because if I did, it would somehow make my failures more real.  (Sure, I know we’re always the hardest on ourselves, and I know I’m not a failure, but the thoughts, “could I have done better…can I DO better?” constantly run through my mind.) Let me step back for a second.  It took my husband and I well over a year to get pregnant with Cooper.  Two heartbreaking miscarriages, lo...

For Christmas Amy's amazing husband got Amy two tickets to see Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper live in Providence, RI.  In fact, he is so great that he didn't even expect to be her date.  That ticket was already taken (by me naturally). And so it was.  On Saturday,  Amy and I left after gymnastics and swimming lessons, park time, breakfast and lunch.  We traveled the short road to a city we have never been to and, well we just had some honest, good fun. We splurged on a fancy room and got some special drinks.  We laughed our asses off for two hours and even though we were in bed at 11pm it was a blast! Top 5 Highlights: 1)   Brian bought good tickets.  We were dead center and pretty close.  Even though we love Andy and Anderson we both didn't really know what to expect.  Who pays money just to hear people talk?  Well, Brian does and boy did we benefit!  Well-worth if it you have the option. 2) You're never too old to cr...

So this week my three year old turned four and my two year old got bunk beds.  No exaggeration there, it's just how my week is going.  Lucy was once three and now she's four.  Rather, she was once a baby in my arms and now she's a running, jumping, flipping, dancing, chatting four year old.  It's hard accepting the inevitable, but I think it's going to be a magical age. Right and so sometimes you mention to your father-in-law that having bunkbeds would be so fun for his grandson.  Then sometimes that same father in-law digs out his own son's bunkbeds from the early 1990s.  He then refurbishes and delivers them shiny, new and sturdy... They are awesome and we are so lucky.  I thought it would take some adjustment for John.  You know, still yearning for his crib - not yet ready for a true big boy's bed.  Yet for five nights straight he's slept cozily in his bunkbed cave.  His crib has been cast aside and serves him only as a ...

Our friendship spans over two decades, but it's this photo that really marks the start of this blog.  Three kids just months apart hanging at their grandmothers' beach.  They organized themselves from tallest to shortest and most to least hair - just kidding, this was the best we could get.  They knew how to walk, but not that great yet and whether they knew it or not their futures as "beach babies" had already been determined. We may joke, bitch or even exaggerate (what Amy and I..how dare you!), but always in our hearts and in our every thought are these three blondies.  We live for the summers which makes January especially painful.  But we will make it there again and take this same photo - as we will be doing until our walkers don't push on the sand. Happy Flashback Friday all - let's hope for an early summer.

This week (or at least the start of it) I found myself slightly less busy than other weeks. For me, this meant one day away from school at a training and days when I took my lunch period to spring clean my classroom and make phone calls for the kids (as opposed to scarfing down food and grading).  I was still up way too late and technically it was a 5 day work week (haven't had that in awhile), but the pace was just a bit slower. I guess anything is less chaotic when compared to Christmas. I started to feel a bit more "together" and less frazzled, which lead to a decision I don't usually make.  When I make it to Thursday I always breathe a breath of fresh air.  It's the last daycare day of the week and on Friday my mother-in law comes to us and spoils the kids.   So when one of my students asked me if I could watch him perform at the "open mic spoken word" show after school I said yes.  I always leave as soon as I can (which is always later than I w...

Having my husband home this week has been useful and exciting in many ways.  Little nit-picky arguments aside, we managed to have a lot of wonderful family time and actually get some stuff done around the house. Rather, I should say we got a lot of different projects started and nothing actually finished.  Like, my husband gutted our upstairs bathroom (you know the only one up there) so that's a start.  Then we arranged the family room for a new couch and went shopping, but came home empty-handed.  We are making progress. More importantly my husband and I both when through our closest and dressers and purged (donated) all our old/ugly/ill-fitting/stained clothes.  We had three black industrialized bags full and it felt so good to drop them at Savers. I am not positive what I'll be wearing over the next couple months, but everything is so much cleaner and lighter.  It's worth having to go naked to the grocery store. While I was playing with the anti-na...