Too Much?

She's too high right?

Right now the baby needs a helicopter parent.  She needs to be near me at all (or at least most) times.  I don’t have to worry about holding her too much – that’s my job.  I actually should swoop in if someone else is holding her and she’s crying.  She’s mine to feed, snuggle and love.  Period. How freeing.

Yet, when your kids begin to change from toddlers who toddle to “big” kids who talk, run and play independently then the waters get a bit murky.  With a five and close-to-four year old, Jerry and I have been trying to figure out what kind of parents we want to be when our kids need us a little less.  Sure we want to be helicopter parents.  We want to know if their feelings are hurt.  We want to be there for all of their big and little accomplishments.  We want to discuss all their academic gains (and flubs) with their teachers.  We want...

But we also want them to figure things out on their own.  We want them to do well when we are not around and of course, like all parents, we desperately want them to be resilient.  So, how do we balance what we want to do with what we have to do?

We have recently approached the time when we go to family functions or other people’s houses and we can let the kids play without us peering over their shoulders at all times.  We let them play with other kids, but do check-ins.  This allows us to socialize a bit (phew), while also allowing them to have fun.  Yet, this has bitten us a bit.  Once they were shown a scary video on an IPAD (we don’t even have IPADs) and sometimes there are fights and a kid has gotten hurt.  

Should we have been there?  Could we have stopped it? 

Or is this just all part of the life lessons they will learn?  Hell, I watched Stephen King’s It when I was in first grade.  Not on purpose of course, I watched it from a stairwell while I was at my cousin’s house.  Sure I wasn’t able to use the bathroom at school for a year, worried that “It” would come out of a drain.  But I’m fine now – I promise.

Last week John came home and told me that there is a boy (in the classroom next door) who is faster than him and his friends.  I thought, “get used to it kid,” but didn’t have a chance to say it because then he told me that he calls him and his friends names.  “What an asshole” I thought, but didn’t have a chance to say it because I stopped myself.  My initial reaction was to tell his teacher.  She probably does not know and she should, but that is kind of meddling right?  Instead we gave him strategies to deal with it and told him to keep telling us things that upset him.  I have literally no clue if this is a good plan for a 3 ½ year old.

Who could f' with this kid???

We are desperate not to mess this up, but figuring it out as we go.  Who else is with me?