Teach Me How to Mommy

I really don't, but I'll listen to one. I know these days you're not supposed to say, "I don't have time" for things, because in actuality we do.  If I cut out a workout, did a little less cleaning and got rid of all the social media on my phone then I'd probably have time to read a series of parenting books.  However, there are some things that bring me joy and I am not willing to part with them (yet). Which is why I'd like to offer a quick recommendation.  Amy and I both listen to podcasts.  I know she listens on her commute and I find time while I am cleaning at night or the rare times I am able to complete a workout without numerous little people screaming my name.  One of our favorites is Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert .  It's relatively new so don't feel like you'll have to sketch a year of your life to catch up. This week he had a child psychologist ( Dr. Wendy Mogel) come on and chat about parenting (in today's worl...

Vacations with toddlers aren't really vacations.   This will end up positive, I promise.   But back to the start.  Preparing, packing, traveling and then living on vacation is no joke.  Challenging?  Yes.  Worth it....  For the second year in a row, Jerry and I have traveled to Maine to spend time at his Pepere's lake house.  Along with us come many members of extended family.  The kitchen table is always full of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.  Every bed is full and so are the couches.  Shoes don't have a rightful home, but laughs, beer and memories certainly do. So even though it takes nine plus hours in the car to get there, once you're there it's magic.  Limited internet, surplus of trees, off-road vehicles and lake walks.  Magic. Even better?  Plenty of 20-somethings, grandparents and teens who don't see my children as much as I do.  To them, most things they do are cute.  T...

Well, we've waited for it all year.  It's finally come!  It's Mother's Day! Even if Mother's Day means that the craft your kid made you at daycare has already broken and the outdoor barbecue you planned for your family will be slightly ruined tainted by pouring rain, it's still "our day." On Friday, I finished up a year long relationship with a student teacher.  The experience was such a positive one that I held back tears when I said, "good-bye" to her.  She helped me with all the taxing things that go on behind the scenes - grading, planning, copying, organizing, cleaning and the ever important report cards.  Beyond that, she became such an energetic and kind presence in my room.  She is a friend now and I will miss her dearly. She left me with a gift, that in her words, "defines who I am." I never received any of these "knit" things in my life.  I've always liked them, but isn't it kind of a lost ar...

So this week my three year old turned four and my two year old got bunk beds.  No exaggeration there, it's just how my week is going.  Lucy was once three and now she's four.  Rather, she was once a baby in my arms and now she's a running, jumping, flipping, dancing, chatting four year old.  It's hard accepting the inevitable, but I think it's going to be a magical age. Right and so sometimes you mention to your father-in-law that having bunkbeds would be so fun for his grandson.  Then sometimes that same father in-law digs out his own son's bunkbeds from the early 1990s.  He then refurbishes and delivers them shiny, new and sturdy... They are awesome and we are so lucky.  I thought it would take some adjustment for John.  You know, still yearning for his crib - not yet ready for a true big boy's bed.  Yet for five nights straight he's slept cozily in his bunkbed cave.  His crib has been cast aside and serves him only as a ...

It's been forever since I last dated.  Well, actually to be honest since Jerry and I have been together for nearly 15 years, it feels like forever, it just actually isn't.  But yet here I am again.  Putting secret notes in mailboxes and texting before an in-person meeting. That's right, I'm dating.  Well, play-dating that is.  I am making my first attempts at expanding my friend circle - through my kids. See there's this little girl from school that Lucy always talks about.  I see her when I get Lucy, but never her mom.  That's the thing about going to a daycare center, you don't always get those family bonds that are so natural at home daycares.  Anyways, on a whim I decided to reach out.  In Lucy's valentines I added an extra note in her friend's bag.  It read:  Hi, I'm Lucy's mom and Lucy loves your daughter.  Want to do a playdate? So right, I suppose it's on the verge of creepy, but before I could second guess...

Had a conversation with a coworker this week that really got me.   The jist of it was how hard having a teen girl really is.  It wasn't sugar-coated.  The things he said I could relate to (you know having been one myself and having two sisters). Yet, somehow I had forgotten...wasn't I always this amiable and easy to deal with? Wasn't I born sweet and awesome, just like Lucy is? (I think my parents my have a response to that...).  Instead of dreading it I am going to enjoy my time with this dancing queen.  Spending some extra time on these snow days building her up - making sure she knows just how great she was.  What else in the world could be any more important? PS.  Take me back to days at Memere's pool.  This dress won't fit her this year (although she still won't let me donate it) and I bet Memere's shoes are already going to start looking small.

Seems like it's been a long January, no? It could be the cold (although it's hard to complain this year) or maybe it's just the political climate.  Either way getting through the winter can sometimes be a challenge.  Personally, I've had my fill and I've got my eyes on summer, but I'm also in touch with reality.  So instead of dwelling on things I cannot control, I'd rather talk about things that have made January wonderful. 1.  Strangers - It's not what it seems.  My favorite podcast, Strangers , has been killing it this month.  All the stories are true, but not all are happy.  Yet, somehow putting in my earbuds and listening to them makes grocery shopping at 9pm on Friday just that much less painful.  If you can, listen to "Wouldn't it be Nice" and "Two Men and a Baby".  They both filled me with positivity about the human race. 2. This is Us - Need I say more?  All my students know my favorite kind of movie is the kin...

Our friendship spans over two decades, but it's this photo that really marks the start of this blog.  Three kids just months apart hanging at their grandmothers' beach.  They organized themselves from tallest to shortest and most to least hair - just kidding, this was the best we could get.  They knew how to walk, but not that great yet and whether they knew it or not their futures as "beach babies" had already been determined. We may joke, bitch or even exaggerate (what Amy and I..how dare you!), but always in our hearts and in our every thought are these three blondies.  We live for the summers which makes January especially painful.  But we will make it there again and take this same photo - as we will be doing until our walkers don't push on the sand. Happy Flashback Friday all - let's hope for an early summer.

Yesterday, I fixed the garbage disposal (which I also broke, but that's not important), I also planted a tree (which Jerry says is bound to die) and then soothed a broken-hearted little boy.  So thankful for this day off. If this garbage disposal really broke then it would be the second I broke in four years - not a good record.  So even though Jerry was pretty much resigned to the fact that the thing was done, I took another look.  Yes, I fixed a garbage disposal while two toddlers ate breakfast (and yes my life and pride depended on it). After some research (one youtube video) and my husband telling me it would never work - I took my kids outside in the middle of January and planted a tree.  More specifically, I replanted our beautiful Christmas tree.   On the outside I am playing it cool - if it dies at least I tried.  Inside?  Inside I am begging mother nature to give me this one. Today I had some playdates set for my kids.  Both of t...

This week (or at least the start of it) I found myself slightly less busy than other weeks. For me, this meant one day away from school at a training and days when I took my lunch period to spring clean my classroom and make phone calls for the kids (as opposed to scarfing down food and grading).  I was still up way too late and technically it was a 5 day work week (haven't had that in awhile), but the pace was just a bit slower. I guess anything is less chaotic when compared to Christmas. I started to feel a bit more "together" and less frazzled, which lead to a decision I don't usually make.  When I make it to Thursday I always breathe a breath of fresh air.  It's the last daycare day of the week and on Friday my mother-in law comes to us and spoils the kids.   So when one of my students asked me if I could watch him perform at the "open mic spoken word" show after school I said yes.  I always leave as soon as I can (which is always later than I w...

Christmas was magical in every way.  The cookies, late night bedtimes, parties, Santa and presents (oh my the presents).  The last four days have been a whirlwind.  We (gladly) lost any sense of schedule and we bop from one new toy to the next (and back again and then to something new and then back to the beginning - or the ever popular "let's open something new").  As soon as Jerry and I get the house "cleaned" it's back to a tornado, yet we haven't given up. We will never give up. It does get more fun every year, so (as we all know) it's worth the extra work it takes to make it right.  Yet, when I came up on this saying on my Insta, I thought yes, yes, yes.  Christmas is over so now what ?  Like, what day is it?  And how many days do I have left on this vacation? Am I supposed to be somewhere right now? A couple months ago I had planned to paint Lucy's room and the bathroom over vacation.  Seeing as though I haven't gotten th...

Cute kids- not so cute sleep avoidance I know last week was a long week for you.  It was a long week for me too.  I know this because I can't believe Thanksgiving is tomorrow and also, I didn't really have time to reflect on anything that occurred last week until now (and even this is a squeeze).  What's even more exciting and nerve-wracking is that after tomorrow the Christmas spirit will fill the air we breathe.  I can't wait for it all and I'm on pins and needles all the same.  I am wondering how I'll juggle it all -  I know I am bound to screw up somewhere along the way.  I think that's why I got to thinking about what happened to me last week... I am trying to do a special bulletin board/project in my classroom.  If I ever actually get it done I'll post it - it has potential, but right now it is just under construction (like permanently under construction).  It required a laminator which I don't have and to my knowledge my school...

With the help of two troops of wonderful family Jerry and I left for the weekend to celebrate my beautiful friend's wedding day.  Off to Cape Cod we went while our children were showered with love, gifts, sleepover treats, adventures and cousin time.  After checking in with them a few dozen times, I made some time to have fun.  A lot of it. If you put twelve of your closest high school friends in one house for a weekend there are a couple things that are guaranteed: 1.  You'll get no sleep.  I mean that.  One night I did not sleep.  The last time I did that was, well it was last year when John refused to sleep.  Let's just say it took me the whole week to recover. 2.  You end up reminiscing about the same memories you reminisce every time you see each other.  You also make a lot of promises about getting together again soon (let's make it actually happen). 3.  It's a good thing that snap chats disappear after 24 hours. ...

We all give dads a bit of flack.  Wait, I don't want to speak for you.  I give my own husband a lot of some flack.  He's really awesome at a lot of things, most importantly being a dad.  Yet, you know, he still finds time to watch football, take a quick snooze and drink some beer.  For some strange reason I can't find the time to do that in my life, so I tease him.  He's a good sport, plus I think a few jabs here or there are worth it as long as he still gets what he wants. Sometimes it dawns on me just how great I have it.  He's home every night and when he walks in the door his on "dad time".  There's no time to change, put up his feet or even go to the bathroom - it's time to be dad.  I do it too so I know that it can be hard, but never do I hear a complaint. Many dads do this so I am not ready to give him a gold star.  But not every dad, would do this.... This is my husband's favorite tv.  He researched it forever...

Like everyone else on the planet Amy and I are trying so hard to adjust to the school schedule that we  almost missed the fact that today is our One-Year Blogiversary! One year ago (today) we took the plunge and started this thing.  Throughout this year we have learned a lot about each other and also our "fans".  We are different, but the same.  We love our kids with our whole hearts and we make a lot of mistakes.  We are way too hard on ourselves, but we are also doing a pretty job of enjoying this chaotic time in our lives.  We are moms doing our best.  We are all living it, Amy and I just write about it. Doing this blog is an extra thing on our to-do list, but it's become a necessity.  It's added a whole new layer to our friendship and it is a major source of stress relief (a rewarding one at that).  We plan to continue forever.  Yes, that's right this will live on and on and on.  How else will we survive these turbule...

Sometimes first days of work involve unpredictable doctor's appointments, double ear infections, and a run-in with one of the very first students I've ever had.  They can also harvest the best, deepest, most heart-felt hugs of your life. Had a full-circle moment when the medicine I needed to treat Lucy's ear aches was given to me by one of the first students I ever taught. She was in my third period class in 2008 and sat in the front row.  But she was a tough girl.  She was not mean, not disrespectful, but always skeptical and always making sure I did just what I was supposed to do.  She was always there, but didn't always smile.  She is someone I'll always remember (whether she helped me at the pharmacy or not). When she saw me she smiled big and said, "I was just talking about you earlier."  Earlier?  As in it hasn't been over 5 years since I've seen you last?  She's doing well and she helped me get my kid better.  Who knew that the ...

Determined to make this week still feel like summer, I tried extra hard to make my afternoons with the kids really fun.  Whether it was going swimming or going to a welcome back to school bash, every afternoon I had something planned to help ease the pain of our new schedule.  I exhausted myself (and them too) but I think they caught on to the sentiment - mommy isn't going to be here every hour, but she will be here when it counts.  Well, at least I hope that's how they feel. So, what happens when you plan an evening adventure to an outdoor eating venue and it's closed (until April)? You end up watching your son pour out a salt shaker while you order Wendy's for them on a random Tuesday night.  I don't do fast-food so this was a big deal, but the kids were hungry and it was getting late.  Surprise, surprise they ate well.   Also, not that I should have one but the frosty I had was out-of-this-world! I wrote last week about how going...