When Yes Should be No
This week (or at least the start of it) I found myself slightly less busy than other weeks. For me, this meant one day away from school at a training and days when I took my lunch period to spring clean my classroom and make phone calls for the kids (as opposed to scarfing down food and grading). I was still up way too late and technically it was a 5 day work week (haven't had that in awhile), but the pace was just a bit slower.
I started to feel a bit more "together" and less frazzled, which lead to a decision I don't usually make. When I make it to Thursday I always breathe a breath of fresh air. It's the last daycare day of the week and on Friday my mother-in law comes to us and spoils the kids. So when one of my students asked me if I could watch him perform at the "open mic spoken word" show after school I said yes. I always leave as soon as I can (which is always later than I want), but I always make it a priority. I figured...it's Thursday, the kids are safe and this is important.
So after being bombarded by a few students with extra help needs and pleas I headed to the event. Turns out I had to wait through 25 minutes of poetry by students who I didn't know. The performances were powerful and I cried twice. Yet, the nagging feeling of "my kids will expect me in 10 minutes, 5 minutes, now, 5 minutes ago, 10 minutes ago). My student finally performed - he saw me clap and zoooooooom. I sped walked through the halls, through the lot, to my car and drove too fast to pick up the kids. Dramatics aside I was at daycare 3:32. I ended up feeling pretty good. It was Thursday after all.
Until I walked in Lucy's classroom and saw her in the arms of her teacher. Big, fat tears rolled down her rosy face, as her teacher said, "I told you Mommy was on her way." (For all I know she was saying that for the last 30 minutes). She ran to my arms and I scooped her up, not knowing what weighed more...her nearly four-year old body or my guilt. Had I been there 30 minutes ago she wouldn't have had to cry in her teacher's arms - she would have had me, just who she needs.
I went right to the doctor. He made an actual sound effect when he looked in her ear. "Ohhhhhh". Thanks Doc, I wasn't really feeling bad (lie) till I got there. An ear infection - a bad one. Makes sense because she never complains unless it's really bad. Home we went with instructions for Dad to pick up the meds and the popsicles (although he came home with popsicles, fudgsicles and Friendly's sundaes...but that's what you get when you send a Dad to get special treats, right?).
With a little motrin and bubble gum antibiotics she was her usual self. Having Memere the next day was kismet. She has sounded, looked and acted great since Friday.
I think I am still safe on this one. You know in terms of things moms do that kids remember and are permanently impacted from. I am cutting it close though. Unfortunately, next time I'll be second guessing myself when it comes to staying a bit late at work. Fourish years in and sometimes I feel like I am right back at the beginning - mom, work, life balance or sometimes lack thereof.
I guess anything is less chaotic when compared to Christmas.
I started to feel a bit more "together" and less frazzled, which lead to a decision I don't usually make. When I make it to Thursday I always breathe a breath of fresh air. It's the last daycare day of the week and on Friday my mother-in law comes to us and spoils the kids. So when one of my students asked me if I could watch him perform at the "open mic spoken word" show after school I said yes. I always leave as soon as I can (which is always later than I want), but I always make it a priority. I figured...it's Thursday, the kids are safe and this is important.So after being bombarded by a few students with extra help needs and pleas I headed to the event. Turns out I had to wait through 25 minutes of poetry by students who I didn't know. The performances were powerful and I cried twice. Yet, the nagging feeling of "my kids will expect me in 10 minutes, 5 minutes, now, 5 minutes ago, 10 minutes ago). My student finally performed - he saw me clap and zoooooooom. I sped walked through the halls, through the lot, to my car and drove too fast to pick up the kids. Dramatics aside I was at daycare 3:32. I ended up feeling pretty good. It was Thursday after all.
Until I walked in Lucy's classroom and saw her in the arms of her teacher. Big, fat tears rolled down her rosy face, as her teacher said, "I told you Mommy was on her way." (For all I know she was saying that for the last 30 minutes). She ran to my arms and I scooped her up, not knowing what weighed more...her nearly four-year old body or my guilt. Had I been there 30 minutes ago she wouldn't have had to cry in her teacher's arms - she would have had me, just who she needs.
I went right to the doctor. He made an actual sound effect when he looked in her ear. "Ohhhhhh". Thanks Doc, I wasn't really feeling bad (lie) till I got there. An ear infection - a bad one. Makes sense because she never complains unless it's really bad. Home we went with instructions for Dad to pick up the meds and the popsicles (although he came home with popsicles, fudgsicles and Friendly's sundaes...but that's what you get when you send a Dad to get special treats, right?).
With a little motrin and bubble gum antibiotics she was her usual self. Having Memere the next day was kismet. She has sounded, looked and acted great since Friday.
I think I am still safe on this one. You know in terms of things moms do that kids remember and are permanently impacted from. I am cutting it close though. Unfortunately, next time I'll be second guessing myself when it comes to staying a bit late at work. Fourish years in and sometimes I feel like I am right back at the beginning - mom, work, life balance or sometimes lack thereof.
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