Teach Me How to Mommy

The first few days of summer are in the books.... The kids have been so happy with our summer adventures that they are currently on a 7 day no-nap streak.  So even though I've enjoyed it all along with them, there are some things I have learned by spending 7am-730pm with my beautiful, busy children: 1.  Fighting screen time is a worthwhile battle, but an uphill one. 2.  Speaking of rules, many have to be broken in the summer.  I know I'll pay later, but it feels good to just let go. 3.  Working full-time affords more breaks - I've been missing my 45 minute lunch (time to go to the bathroom, eat and chat, a luxury). 4.  Things go pretty smoothly until 4pm, at that point I better have a plan or be prepared to guard the kitchen cabinets for raiders.  It's nice to have tissues to catch the many, many fake tears that are headed my way. 5.  How can I be expected to watch  Orange is the New Black  if I can't start until 10pm?  ...

Yesterday, I fixed the garbage disposal (which I also broke, but that's not important), I also planted a tree (which Jerry says is bound to die) and then soothed a broken-hearted little boy.  So thankful for this day off. If this garbage disposal really broke then it would be the second I broke in four years - not a good record.  So even though Jerry was pretty much resigned to the fact that the thing was done, I took another look.  Yes, I fixed a garbage disposal while two toddlers ate breakfast (and yes my life and pride depended on it). After some research (one youtube video) and my husband telling me it would never work - I took my kids outside in the middle of January and planted a tree.  More specifically, I replanted our beautiful Christmas tree.   On the outside I am playing it cool - if it dies at least I tried.  Inside?  Inside I am begging mother nature to give me this one. Today I had some playdates set for my kids.  Both of t...

This week (or at least the start of it) I found myself slightly less busy than other weeks. For me, this meant one day away from school at a training and days when I took my lunch period to spring clean my classroom and make phone calls for the kids (as opposed to scarfing down food and grading).  I was still up way too late and technically it was a 5 day work week (haven't had that in awhile), but the pace was just a bit slower. I guess anything is less chaotic when compared to Christmas. I started to feel a bit more "together" and less frazzled, which lead to a decision I don't usually make.  When I make it to Thursday I always breathe a breath of fresh air.  It's the last daycare day of the week and on Friday my mother-in law comes to us and spoils the kids.   So when one of my students asked me if I could watch him perform at the "open mic spoken word" show after school I said yes.  I always leave as soon as I can (which is always later than I w...

The first weekend of December is officially in the books.  My kids were in bed at 7:15 and Jerry and I are too exhausted to do much, well, much of anything. Over this weekend my kids met Santa twice and will see him twice more this week.  Before you judge me and think that the season has gotten just that much out of control, hear me out... It's a lot of work to organize some of these things (Polar Express and Fire Truck Santa), but some just fall into our laps.  We went to a pasta dinner at my school this week where Santa showed up.  Score.  This upcoming weekend my mother in-law actually has a Santa come down a chimney for her grandkids (and nieces and nephews).  Pure magic. Yes, it's likely that my kids won't remember this particular year of Santa activities, but I am sure you can agree that passing on them is silly. And so although it is unlikely I'll survive this holiday season completely unscathed, I am choosing to move forward.  I wil...

This morning the kids and I went to breakfast and then went to a local store that has fruits, veggies, some farm animals and cute little Melissa and Doug things.  We go often - it's one of those regular joints you can always add to a morning or afternoon to "stretch it out a bit." The store connects to a warehouse in the back where they keep flowers and materials.  The doors were left wide open to this area.  John saw it first and noticed three (THREE) little toddler tractors and battery-operated cars.  They were John Deere and Mickey Mouse and were obviously for a little boy just John's age.  It obvious to me that they were for the worker's kids.  You know, they weren't put there for my kids - although in my kids' eyes I hadn't taken them to a little market, I had taken them to Disney World. I am the adult so I could tell customers probably weren't allowed back there, but to my kids the doors were open and there were toys.  It's a pl...

Amy wrote a really raw, honest post about her choice (emotionally, financially, contractually) to send Colin to daycare twice a week over the summer.  I bet it was a hard one to write, because she opened herself up to judgement from the moms of the world who judge anyone for anything, but especially judge based on daycare situations. I don't judge Amy (because she's my best friend), and also over the years I have felt very competitive with people and their daycare situations.  It doesn't feel good. Ultimately, no one wins. Everyone has a different situation and I feel like as a whole we are all just trying to do what's best for our kids and the family as an entire unit. Jerry and I chose a daycare that does not require parents to keep their kids in daycare over the summer (or vacations) if they are a teacher or have a unique work circumstances.  I know a kid in John's class whose father is a golfer, so in the winter he is home and so is his kid.  This is hard to...

My temporary-stay-at-home mom status this summer has been an adventure.  We are currently doing the beach life thing and it is equal parts amazing and tiring.  No complaints here, but I am allowed to yawn right?  Anyways, before we left I got to thinking that much of my identity is tied to the fact that I live with, care for and am attached to two toddlers 24/7.  In case anyone didn't know, I've compiled a list of tell-tale signs. 1.  If you get peed on you just keep going.  This weekend we went to Lake Compounce and while waiting in line for the merry-go-round John peed on me.  Yes, he was wearing a diaper - No I have no clue why it came out more like a flood and less like a stream.  I didn't bring a change of clothes (for me) and they still wanted to go on rides.  What's a mom to do?  Shut up, air dry and keep on trucking. (Sidenote - I didn't even end up showering until 10 that night, oh well). 2. My phone tells me every night my...

This picture doesn't represent his usual state, but for some reason I love it.  Lucy and I tried to trick him by getting him all sleepy in the car and then transferring him into his crib at Memere's.  15 minutes later he woke up and didn't know where he was.  Since I was in the pool it took a few minutes to get to him.  When I walked in the look on his eyes was of pure devastation.  It was as if I had given him up for adoption and his new family hated him.  He was sad and angry and it didn't let up for awhile.  It was sad, but kind of funny. I talk a lot about how different my two children are.  Often, I realize that it insinuates that Lucy is somehow easier than John.  She always slept better, she appears to need me less and (with the exception of a few brief phases) she listens and wants to be good.  I could say the same about John on many days, but he does seem to need and want me a bit more than Lucy - he always has.  He can b...

Recently, Amy and I have been talking about our comfort zones and how they have been shattered (purposely or not) this summer. 5 minutes into our visit and my anxiety is through the roof. Markers on Nana's new deck. AHHH! I am working on being a little more impulsive .  Instead of having everything scheduled for the kids, I am trying to go with the flow.  Hence, this week I decided to pack a few bags and bring the kids to the beach.  Of course I am lucky to have a place to go (thanks Mom and Dad).  I packed enough for a few days thinking if it goes well we will stay, if I get too tired or things are too hard I can leave. I have a lot of pride so escaping was never really an option, but boy I came close.  The kids started pushing the limits immediately.  What can I climb?  What snacks can I pillage? Where can I run off to?  And, of course the ever popular how late can I stay up? With Jerry these questions and rebellions are easily manage...

Today I had just enough time to watch a grocery cart swiftly crash into my car.  Technically I had more than enough time to stop it.  In fact, it was kind of walking parallel to me, but then picked up speed and SMASH. The reason I couldn't stop it (even though it was bright green and headed for my shiny black car) was because I was holding 5 bags of groceries and two little people's hands. I went to the local grocery market so that the kids could both get their little carts and make a quick stop fun.  Ok fine, quick stops don't happen anymore, but they did have fun. I didn't want them bringing the carts in the parking lot, because that would be a disaster (both managed to tip them over in the store a total of three times). So I thought I could grab it all.  I didn't anticipate Lucy wanting to hold my left hand.  It was a really big deal to have the left hand - you know that one I had carefully balanced all the groceries on so I was frazzled when we walked ...

Bachelorette on far right! In a few days Amy and I (and others) are escaping to the Cape for a girl's weekend.  Let's call it what it is a bachelorette party ! We are celebrating an amazing friend, one who we've known for well over 20 years.  A fellow girl scout who is truly selfless - beautiful in every way imaginable.  We are hoping some giggles and booze will help the memories, stories and squabbles surface in fits of dance and instagram posts. I've been excited for this for a long time, but it just dawned on me tonight that it will be the first time that I will be away from kids by myself.  The few times I've been away (for weddings or dates) Jerry has always accompanied me.  We were in it together.  We missed them together and had fun together.  Once when I cried, Jerry told me how much I deserved a night away.  He was right and I tried really hard to have fun (and I did!). Jerry will be great.  Maybe part of him is glad to have ...

My sister has posted before and I love sharing her thoughts with you all.  She is a trauma therapist and she gives to others more than herself.  For this post she gives some advice and some scary as all hell stats.  I learned a lot reading it and feel better about how to talk to Lucy about things.  Read and share, please! There is a scary mommy post that has been popping up in my news feed again lately.  It's an old post, but it's making the rounds again.  The jist of the post is a mom writing about her and her husband’s decision to not allow their young children to go on sleepovers.  She goes on to say that they have some exceptions for trusted family members, but when it comes to friend’s houses, particularly friends who they don't even know with parents they never even met, their children are not going for a sleepover.  She says that at such a young age her children are too vulnerable and can't be trusted yet to know and understand appropri...