Teach Me How to Mommy

Yes you read that title right..  I had to travel to Argentina to get some sleep.  Ok, the truth is, my husband had to go on a global business week for school and his course took place in Buenos Aires.  I have wanted to go to Argentina ever since I saw the movie Evita.  You know, the one with Madonna and awesome music.  Anyways, when I found out he was going I quickly said, "I'm coming with you!" And set off to secure the grandparents for babysitting duty.  I can't stress enough how vital this trip was to my sanity and survival.  I have been at a point recently where things have gotten really difficult.  I've been tired, cranky, totally touched out (I'm now the jungle gym to 2 very active little girls), stressed and overall just stretched far beyond my limit.  I haven't slept through the night in almost 4 years (because I did not sleep during either of my pregnancies, and have 2 kids who don't like to sleep either).  Needless ...

My sister, Laura, has written a few times before .  She is just weeks (perhaps days) away from welcoming my second niece into this world.  I am oozing with excitement, but her recent sentiments have brought me back to the days before I welcomed John into this world.  Those days are riddled with both excitement, fear and dare I say  - doubt.  Anyone who's been through this can relate and those waiting like her well you already know.  Her raw words say it better than I can... I’m now 3 weeks away from my due date with baby number 2.  The anxiety is starting to really set in.  I’ve been really anxious about things my whole pregnancy because I’m not sure I’m really prepared to have a toddler and a newborn (but who is?!) but now that it’s really getting down to the end, my anxiety is higher.  When you are trying to prepare for baby number 2, the anxieties are different than the first time around.  I’m prepared for taking care of a n...

Sometimes first days of work involve unpredictable doctor's appointments, double ear infections, and a run-in with one of the very first students I've ever had.  They can also harvest the best, deepest, most heart-felt hugs of your life. Had a full-circle moment when the medicine I needed to treat Lucy's ear aches was given to me by one of the first students I ever taught. She was in my third period class in 2008 and sat in the front row.  But she was a tough girl.  She was not mean, not disrespectful, but always skeptical and always making sure I did just what I was supposed to do.  She was always there, but didn't always smile.  She is someone I'll always remember (whether she helped me at the pharmacy or not). When she saw me she smiled big and said, "I was just talking about you earlier."  Earlier?  As in it hasn't been over 5 years since I've seen you last?  She's doing well and she helped me get my kid better.  Who knew that the ...

Amy and I are not saying good-bye to summer just yet.   We will do that in video form later on, yet the time has come for one of us to return to work (and that’s me).   ·                  So while my husband is downstairs in the basement with a bunch of men creating fantasy football teams (no seriously, it’s what I am currently dealing with), I am reflecting on the best summer of my life.   Much of it was chronicled on the blog and I don’t want to be redundant.   There’s plenty I didn’t do, but I also don’t feel like talking about that either. ·              Instead I am choosing to attempt to permanently etch this summer into my brain.  The two thousand +  pictures I have help a lot.  I am choosing to let them run over and over in my mind while I sit through endless meetings tomorrow.  I am choosing to get excited to see my co-workers ...

Wednesday 8/3/16 You guys! I'm the worst. Twice a week, during the summer, I bring Colin to daycare. The "rules" tell me this is wrong....that I'm required to feel guilty about this.   I don't.  When I tell people he's going to daycare, I VERY quickly go into a canned response about how, "it's only for lunch and nap time," "I think it's good for him," "It'll "save his spot for the fall," "It keeps him on a schedule," blah blah blah..... but you know what .... while that's all true,  DO YOU REALLY want to KNOW WHAT... even if it wasn't true, I want to bring him. I need those few hours!  I look forward to them. You how I know this... because Colin hasn't been to day care in almost three weeks. They have been an amazing three weeks.  We had NO schedule, we watched too many hours of Winnie the Pooh and Minions together, we Snapchatted WAYY too much, had too many snacks, we skipped ba...

About to "plug-out" for a few days.  I'll still be taking lots of pics of my adventures and chronicling things for the blog, but I am going to try to stay off social media for a bit.  Notice I've let a bit  lot of my free-time go to facebook, insta and email perusing.  Must detach!! Don't we all need just a tiny break sometimes? Wishing you all a restful (or fun) few days. For now trying to enjoy these "perfect" days.  By perfect I mean there were laughs (and tears), smiles (and whines), skipping (and boo-boos), sun, fun and crappy naps. More please.   For the record her bathing suit is a size too big and he is not even wearing one.

Just this week we have had lot of visitors.  Some visitors were scheduled (Nana and Uncle Justin) and others were surprises - neighbors and friends. In general I am not the biggest fan of surprise visits.  I am a planner (teacher much?) and so when I am caught off guard I am not at my best.  I got worse when I had kids.  If a visitor came when they were napping I nearly had steam coming out of my ears.  Yet, having kids also forces you to become flexible, so I often sometimes go with the flow. The visitors this week have brought such joy to my home.  A visit by Uncle Justin made John into a temporary cuddle monster.  He doesn't readily go to other people that aren't, well, me.  Yet when Justin drove up in his BIG diesel truck he was a puddle of hugs.  Justin's visit is another story altogether - I'll share when I am ready to embarrass myself (which also may be NEVER) . Unfortunately, every time someone came over my house this week my ho...

Today, I cried. That's not new.  Anyone who knows me, knows this about me.  If I'm too happy, I'm crying.  If I'm too sad, I'm crying. It was why I cried that threw me for a loop.  I've had a few very happy phone calls over the last month.  With each phone call, I was crying.. Tears of pure joy.  I was crying with my head in the refrigerator (making Colin's lunch), I was crying giving Colin a bath, I was crying at Stop & Shop (in the cheese section).   My people -- the ones I care about the most -- are thriving! So then, when I heard there were new babies on the way, I was ecstatic! I want to impart ALL my wisdom upon these new Momma's.  I want to tell them to start wearing maternity clothes immediately (because boy will they miss them).  I want to tell them to eat ice cream, and carry tums everywhere, and drink coffee if they want to, go to the beach (even if they DON'T want to).  I want to tell them to go to every singl...

This has been my first full school year in awhile.  Back to back babies got me used to maternity leaves (I'm starting to get the itch again, haha).  Well school is just about over and eight years later, I am still learning. It hasn't been an easy year, but I know in the scheme of things that I have it pretty good. This I learned: 1.  Tardies, sudden absences, leaving early... I used to look down on other people who seemed they couldn't get it together.  Like, just get to work on time...get dependable childcare.   GET IT TOGETHER ! Well, I am organized, prepared and have dependable childcare and I was still late this year.  I also had to call out last minute (twice).  I also arrived at school just to immediately turnaround and go back home.  I've had to leave early and I've had to get creative.  Even with great help it has been a trying year. Everyone's got their own circumstances and this mama is never judging again. 2.  Found t...

Today at daycare drop-off my kids were dawdling, procrastinating and being silly.  Even though it takes 2 minutes to get from home to daycare, it often takes us 10 minutes to get from the parking lot to their rooms.  It's a silly little habit we all have.  We look at the baby chicks in the lobby (yes real chicks) we look at the "library" for the book we want to take home and we say hi to all the teachers in our path.  Yes, I often have two thousand steps before I even walk into my building (7:30 am). Well, this morning a mommy kind of blew passed us.  It wasn't in a rude way, but an urgent one.  I've been there, I know.  We quickly discovered that her daughter was sick and she was swooping in to save the day.  She did the typical Mom thing - picked her up high in her arms and brushed her hair with her fingers.  The girl was mumbling something, but I couldn't hear.  The mom had no time for more pleasantries, she rushed out to take her b...

I am always amazed at moms who admit their flaws.  I do to a degree, but I know I hold back.  Then there are others...others who preach about  their issues so that everyone else can feel better about themselves.  What better gift can you give a new mom than the reassurance that other people have been there and have probably felt or done worse? I am truly in awe. I am big into podcasts.  I listen to them while I grade, while I plan, when I workout and when I am alone.  Yes, this equates to mere minutes a day, but it's something.  I listen to one called Death Sex and Money (it's not as scandalous as it sounds).  This week Brooke Sheilds was on talking about her new book and the issue of Post Partem Depression came up.  I didn't personally have PPD, but her description made me empathize and understand it better. How hard must it have been for her to be one of the first "famous" people to admit to feeling sad after giving birth? Just saw...

One year ago today my family was hit by a drunk (or high) driver while we were on our way to Christmas Eve festivities.  Lucy was still one and we had a newborn.  It was as traumatizing as one can imagine, but it did not actually result in any injuries or damage.  I reflected on this on my "old" blog and won't take too much time to detail the specifics today.  We were rear-ended not far from our home and even though we got out of the car and talked to the obviously inebriated driver, he ended up fleeing the scene and getting into a much larger accident just half a mile down the road. It was amazing that no one got seriously hurt that night.  It was also a blessing that police were readily available and he was caught and apprehended before he could cause more damage. Since that day I have thought about that night a lot.  It comes in waves.  When I am at the intersection near our house early in the morning I often think about the jolt our car felt. ...

There are so many wonderful things to do with kids around this time of year.  Here in New England there are light displays, breakfast/brunch/lunch/dinner/grocery store/touch-a-truck with Santa, Christmas festivals, fairs, ice skating - the list goes on and on and on.  With the weather completely cooperating it has been so nice to fit so many wonderful Christmas miracles in for my kids. For the most part I think it is just Christmas joy spreading to all.  Yet, lately I have found myself getting swept up in the competition of it all. Are my kids seeing Santa enough (I feel like four times is enough, but is it?).  We went to Hubbard Park to see the lights, but if we don't get to Hartford are we still good?  Like 10 people have told me to go to Lake Compounce to see the lights and festival, but what if we don't make it?  I am avoiding the mall on purpose, but is that depriving them of that "holiday chaos" experience? The constant posts on Facebook and in...

Transitions  11/2014 - the last day of my maternity leave. I’m probably the WORST person to talk about transition.  I’m terrible at it.  It’s not even that I “hate change”  I’m just terrible at life during a time of change. I have always felt like I am cut from a different cloth than many of the people around me.  I honestly don’t even know how to explain what that means… or I didn’t until I had Colin.  I was VERY nervous to give birth.  I was terrified of the pain (horrifying, and NO you don’t “forget” the pain after you see the baby).  I was terrified of having a c-section (worst fear realized… because that’s exactly what I had), and I was terrified of post-partum (check again.. but that’s a WHOLE other post).  Colin changed everything about how I saw the world, but it took me a very long time for me to realize that he made me a better version of myself.   I read a LOT of mommy blogs, and forums, and books, and saw tv sh...

My sister touched upon some transitions her family is currently working through.  She really struck a cord when talking about going back to work.  She's lucky to start off slowly by doing part-time ( bitch - sorry - not sorry), yet the transition will certainly have a huge emotional impact. Lucy transitioned to her big girl bed a couple weeks ago. As per usual she adapted easily.  My "miss independent." Via Facebook, I have recently seen a wave of friends and acquaintances who have new babies and who are returning to work.  Seeing their posts brought back the feelings I experienced when returning to work last year and the year before that. When a mom announces it's time for her personal paradise maternity leave to end and daycare to begin I feel strong pangs in my heart.  Those first days, weeks and months of tearing yourself away from feedings, nap times, homemaking and love in order to get back in the classroom, the cubicle, the desk seems unnatural. ...

Mystic Road Race 2015 - Day after Halloween.  I barely survived.  Amy hit on something real last week.  Moms often put themselves last.  For Amy that meant denying/not worrying about/overall avoiding a kidney infection.  Ehh, no big deal right? Always, Amy and I put our kids first (Colin, John and Lucy), but also the 100+ student kids we see everyday.  If I was able to do everything I wanted to do for all of them I would never sleep and would eventually be committed, so instead I focus on doing as much as I can with the time I have.  I try to save the best of me for my kids and give things like cleaning, errands and other superfluous but mandatory mom duties just "capable me".  So far so good.  I am still alive and my kids at school always still ask me "why are you always so happy?".  Quick answer - "because it's all good." One thing I try never to give up is my workout.  I have realized over the past 10 years that in terms ...

Five Things I NEVER Thought I'd Say.... until I became a Mom. Five Things I Never Thought I'd Say... Five Things I NEVER Thought I'd Say....  until I became a Mom. 5.  Let me taste one of those cheerios  to see if they're stale. This is clearly in reference to the large amount of cheerios in and around my son's car seat. He likes them to be in his cup holder, and so that's where I stash them. Today, for some reason, he got great joy in shoving Cheerio's in my mouth as I was buckling him in.  Cheerios   is making a killing from our household! I buy at least two boxes a week. I think at least one ends up in the backseat of my car! :) 4.  How did you get a dinosaur in your diaper? I admit we were playing with our mini dinosaurs for multiple seconds today before we moved on to a new activity..(taking all of the books off the bookshelf.. the same books that we just put ON the bookshelf)... And so in the 35 seconds we were playing with ...

My Two New Best Friends!  Well is certainly has been a whirlwind of a week of the Hayes household. I came down with some sort of deadly disease (or what most people call "kidney stones") and a nasty virus to boot. I have basically been bed ridden since Wednesday (a week now!).  As with most moms I've talked to, our health seems to come second.  The flu?? Won't stop me from getting lunch made... 101 fever.... No worries, dinner will just be a few minutes late.  But kidney stones!!!! Whooooooooooo invented these beasts? I finally got to the point where I had to take myself to the walk-in. They diagnosed me with -- I have no idea what's wrong with you -- and that annoyed me. So they took lots of samples from me, sent me to get a CAT scan and here I am with two new bff's, kidney stone uno & kidney stone dos. Funny thing is, these little buggers are on my left side and my  pain just so happens to be destroying my right side. (Long story short, as of today th...

Teaching and being a mom requires a large amount of sacrifices.  Well actually doing anything and being a mom requires sacrifices, I can only speak to my experience. I had a lot of guilt after Colin was born.  It wasn't the guilt I thought I would feel though.  I felt guilty because I didn't feel guilty about going back to work (does that make sense?  It makes sense in my head...).  I was surrounded by friends and family who constantly asked me "how I was feeling about going back to work" and "how I was doing" with that sad look on their faces.... like I was expected to become a whole new being all of a sudden.  It felt like everything I had worked 30 years for didn't matter anymore.  I was being reduced to a delicate woman who couldn't possibly want anything other than staying home with my baby. Now, if you knew me during the time right after Colin's birth (which is a whole other post and topic that Colleen will be brave enough to post for m...