Thursday Thoughts - 10/29 - My Two New Best Friends

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My Two New Best Friends!

 Well is certainly has been a whirlwind of a week of the Hayes household. I came down with some sort of deadly disease (or what most people call "kidney stones") and a nasty virus to boot. I have basically been bed ridden since Wednesday (a week now!).  As with most moms I've talked to, our health seems to come second.  The flu?? Won't stop me from getting lunch made... 101 fever.... No worries, dinner will just be a few minutes late.  But kidney stones!!!! Whooooooooooo invented these beasts? I finally got to the point where I had to take myself to the walk-in. They diagnosed me with -- I have no idea what's wrong with you -- and that annoyed me. So they took lots of samples from me, sent me to get a CAT scan and here I am with two new bff's, kidney stone uno & kidney stone dos. Funny thing is, these little buggers are on my left side and my pain just so happens to be destroying my right side. (Long story short, as of today the pain in my side is mostly gone, I'm on antibiotics and my two new bff's can eject themselves anytime between now and 50 years... Totally cool) 

Honestly though, do you even care about any of this? I don't even know why I'm writing about this... It's so lame..  But mostly I think it's because I'm mad at myself and I need to air my frustrations.  I started to feel intense pain Wednesday and ignored it as "womanly problems" for three days. THREE DAYS. I didn't even tell anyone I was in pain until Friday when I couldn't even muster up the energy to go to happy hour (which, by the way, is how I knew I probably should go to the doctor).  

My little bit of heaven while bedridden.
Hot Chocolate with Whipped Cream!

Why do we do this to ourselves?? Why do we wait until it's at a level 10?? If Colin even so much as sneezes wrong, or Brian says he has a headache I am on the phone with the doctor or shoving Brian out the door to the walk in.   I don't have an answer for you as to why I do this, heck, I don't even have an answer for me. But I think it's because I didn't want to be seen as "difficult" or "fussy".  Maybe it's anxiety, and I'm sure a little bit of it is... But I've talked to other women, and read a lot of articles recently that have the same sort of theme.  Mom's putting themselves second.   I know, that's how it works when you have a baby, but when did I become #8. Baby, husband, work, kitchen counters, laundry, vacuuming, dish washer, sweeping.....  Me.  

I can't go back and change how I handled this issue, but I know darn sure, if (when???) uno & dos decide to make an appearance, I sure as heck won't be feeling guilty about calling, or handing off my trusty kitchen broom to Brian... And when I call the doctor, like the big girl I am, I hope there is a nice nurse on the other line with pain killers and the perfect appointment time (3:00pm) waiting for me.
A VERY special I Love You to my amazing, lovely, and perfect neighbor Lauren! 
Thank you for my weekend pick-me-up!
It was so delicious, and much needed!
xoxoxoxoxox





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