I Don't Have Time to Read a Parenting Book
I really don't, but I'll listen to one.
I know these days you're not supposed to say, "I don't have time" for things, because in actuality we do. If I cut out a workout, did a little less cleaning and got rid of all the social media on my phone then I'd probably have time to read a series of parenting books. However, there are some things that bring me joy and I am not willing to part with them (yet).
Which is why I'd like to offer a quick recommendation. Amy and I both listen to podcasts. I know she listens on her commute and I find time while I am cleaning at night or the rare times I am able to complete a workout without numerous little people screaming my name. One of our favorites is Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert. It's relatively new so don't feel like you'll have to sketch a year of your life to catch up.
This week he had a child psychologist (Dr. Wendy Mogel) come on and chat about parenting (in today's world). It's not threatening and I didn't finish it feeling like the world's worst mom. Instead I gathered a few tips and felt energized. Turns out loving your kid is great (I do that, check) and so is positive reinforcement (woo-hoo, check). But there are other things that I can improve on big time and I am just so glad to know them before I raise my third baby (this baby is going to be soooo awesome).
Take a listen yourself, but here are a few tidbits:
1. Because (as she says) "we can't hit our kids" we should talk to them. But stop talking to them SO much. We talk too much. Keep it simple and brief.
2. Boys like to talk while they are active. You have something you need to chat about? Shoot some hoops and talk, take a walk and talk, do some batting practice and talk. (Girls are different, but of course so is every child).
3. It's ok to argue/debate near your children. We all do it anyways. But be sure to show them how you resolve it too. If you wake up the next day and all is peachy-keen, imagine how confused they must be?
4. Be specific. Loud, incessant crying/wining???? Use: "Your behavior is hurting my ears." Rather than, "When you scream I can't think and I am tired and you're upsetting the baby and you're not making anything better and and and and and..."
5. Create traditions. We have a few, but I want more and they don't have to be fancy. It doesn't have to be a trip to Disney each Christmas. It could be a meal that everyone chooses once a week.
If you listen tell us what you think.
I know these days you're not supposed to say, "I don't have time" for things, because in actuality we do. If I cut out a workout, did a little less cleaning and got rid of all the social media on my phone then I'd probably have time to read a series of parenting books. However, there are some things that bring me joy and I am not willing to part with them (yet).
This week he had a child psychologist (Dr. Wendy Mogel) come on and chat about parenting (in today's world). It's not threatening and I didn't finish it feeling like the world's worst mom. Instead I gathered a few tips and felt energized. Turns out loving your kid is great (I do that, check) and so is positive reinforcement (woo-hoo, check). But there are other things that I can improve on big time and I am just so glad to know them before I raise my third baby (this baby is going to be soooo awesome).
Take a listen yourself, but here are a few tidbits:
1. Because (as she says) "we can't hit our kids" we should talk to them. But stop talking to them SO much. We talk too much. Keep it simple and brief.
2. Boys like to talk while they are active. You have something you need to chat about? Shoot some hoops and talk, take a walk and talk, do some batting practice and talk. (Girls are different, but of course so is every child).
3. It's ok to argue/debate near your children. We all do it anyways. But be sure to show them how you resolve it too. If you wake up the next day and all is peachy-keen, imagine how confused they must be?
4. Be specific. Loud, incessant crying/wining???? Use: "Your behavior is hurting my ears." Rather than, "When you scream I can't think and I am tired and you're upsetting the baby and you're not making anything better and and and and and..."
5. Create traditions. We have a few, but I want more and they don't have to be fancy. It doesn't have to be a trip to Disney each Christmas. It could be a meal that everyone chooses once a week.
If you listen tell us what you think.
Comments
Post a Comment