And All of a Sudden I was Crying on the Ornaments

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It's been awhile since I've written.  I have had lots to write about, but no time.  The holidays often feel like the best marathon I've ever run (I've never run one) you push, push, push until the big day is here.  Then once it's done you need a few days to recover.  Our holiday season was all of that and more....

But last night I took down the Christmas tree.  My parents wanted to take the kids for a sleepover (umm, YES) and instead of going out my husband and I stayed in and did an overhaul of the entire house.  To be fair we did go out on two dates this week, so don't feel bad for us. We had already organized everything, but to be honest every time I started a project this week I would get one step done and then the kids would have created another project (mess) that I'd have to address making me at least ten steps behind my original place.

I usually don't take the Christmas stuff down until New Year's (or the day after).  But this year I am having a baby.  I am due in less than two weeks and all of a sudden I feel the tick tock of an internal clock speeding up.  So on my own I took down the ornaments, the beads, the mantle and the Santas.  The beautiful, warm Christmas living room that we worked so hard on was quickly placed in give or take ten bins.  Before I knew it I was crying.

My husband was cleaning the basement.  He was doing so by listening to 90s rap and couldn't hear my tears.  It vibrated the whole house and drowned out my own mellow John Mayer mix, but he was cleaning so I dared not say a thing.  Eventually when he came up, beaming with that post-cleaning high, he noticed I was off.  It was probably the tears that were still flowing, he's not normally that attuned.  I couldn't put it into words, much like I can't now.

I was sad to see Christmas come to a close.  I missed my kids.  And any day now life as I've known it for three years now is changing forever.  I am excited for it all, but also nervous.
I am assuming this is normal.

Tonight, Amy and I are a celebrating the New Year with friends and our kids at a Hibachi restaurant.  We are going to do a fake countdown well before 12 and return to our cozy homes.  I likely won't wake up until it's 2018 and I am determined to start the year with a healthy case of nerves, lots of excitement and a laser focus on enjoying time with my family before it looks a bit more full - before it is complete.

Happy New Year to all our family, friends and supporters.  Thank you as always for reading, sharing and traveling on this journey with us!



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