Teach Me How to Mommy

Sorry honey, we have to move. I can't live here anymore.... and this is why. Friday Night -- I was alone with Colin, it was Brian's night to work late.  I picked up DiBella's sandwiches to enjoy so I didn't have to worry about making dinner.  Colin and I played outside the whole night. Everything was going great.  Colin wasn't whining, I was having a blast running through the sprinkler (while talking to Alissa on the phone), Colin was following, finally getting the hang of it and running behind me. I even lost track of time; all of a sudden it was 6pm, definitely time for dinner!  I sat Colin on a chair outside at the patio table, ran to grab his DiBella's Kids Box and my sandwich.  We were singing, and laughing.. Colin had me as his one woman show.  He names the song... I Sing it, Dance it, and Act it out.  He love its! Everything is going great... until.... I was setting up the umbrella when I heard the noise.... the one I've been dreading ...

So I allowed myself to think it was summer this weekend.  It didn't help that it actually, physically did feel like summer.  90 degrees, sun, humidity and it's a CT heat wave. Jerry and I talked about finally purchasing that central air unit...when you plant a tree in this heat it makes any amount of money worth it! My dreams will coming crashing down at 5:30 am tomorrow. But for now, I'll pretend that I don't have 125 essays to grade, that I don't have to make lunches for tomorrow, that we don't have 8 daycare days left (who's counting???), that I don't have to motivate teens who were done circa 10 days ago to write me beautiful essays (or write anything at all)... and I'll just think of this girl doing her flamingo pose at the ocean with a perfect breeze. She's my motivation.  (John is too, he's just harder to get good pics of). Hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend!

Today during first period some of my kids asked me to come to their last home baseball game of the season.  To be fair, they tell me about all of their events (in May there is one every night). In my past life (pre-kids) I would go to so many of my students' functions (baseball, basketball, softball, volleyball, soccer, music, dinners, feasts, etc.).  It was no problem and I so enjoyed it.   Now, it's complicated. I get to what I can, but it's not a lot.  There are so many factors included in this and they span from kids' sickness to mom guilt.  Well, it's finally warm here and I really wanted to go the baseball game tonight.  It was John's turn to get some one-on-one time with me and I knew he would love it.  So feeling motivated and enthusiastic I told the kids I'd love to go. "What time again?" I asked (obviously a sign that it's been awhile since I attended a game).  "7". Inner monologue  - 7?  7???? ...

Time is slipping through our fingers. I'm back on the blogging wagon... but I have a good reason for being so absent. Also -- I was sad and mad and hurt, and I didn't want this post to get deep or dark.  I wanted to stay positive... So... I waited until I felt better! I think about the blog an an obsessive manner.... but honestly sometimes, life just stops you in your tracks, and you have to take care of everything else... first. Accurate depiction of me crying at work. Two weeks ago Brian, Colin, and I were in a pretty bad car accident. The details aren't super important; the car is totaled, and it wasn't our fault.  There were minimal injuries... though it seemed that I took the brunt of them.  I was physically unable to look at a computer for almost two weeks, had to take time away from my job to recover (which is basically unheard of to me).  I cried at work (in front of students, my peers, my boss) multiple times in a very short period of time. ...

Can you tell it's May?   Amy and I have been a little quiet recently.  That's because we are fighting.  If only you know what she... Just joking.   We are simply teacher mommies burning candles at both ends at crunch time.  Add in a car accident, mother's day, retirement parties, and about three child illnesses in a row and you get two cranky exhausted mommies.. So even though I have about 10 blog posts in my head, I figured I'd do a brief check-in.  Over the past week my life has transformed in the following ways: 1.  Lucy can now sing almost all of Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams".  It's beautiful and sweet - her pronunciation is on point  She even sings, "tangled up with you all night." Never realized it till Jerry said, ummm...what??? (side-note, regardless of meaning we are still asking her to perform). 2.    Jerry and I snuck out for a dinner date (first in awhile).  We finished too early and d...

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful friend. I hope Colin spoils you rotten with extra snuggles, kisses, giggles and a long, long nap. Amy and I talk often about the struggles of daily life, but don't let her fool you, she's enjoying every second (because that's what she does). Amy is fun and always has been - I speak from about 25 years of experience of being by her side.  She lives a full life.  If it's not full she fills it with travel, celebrations, drinks and laughs (while the rest of us go to sleep early or read a book).  She gives Colin and her kids at school her everything - she does this every day. The night we don't speak of, yet can never forget. But it's Mother's Day and Amy is a fantastic Mom.  What I admire most about her is her unapologetic approach to bad-ass mothering.  She's doing it every day with her whole heart.  Yet, when mistakes occur and perfection's not met, she doesn't crumble.  She takes things in stride an...

SweetsLC25. A letter to my sweet sweet sweet friend on Mother’s Day. You deserve the BEST most amazing Mother’s Day. I mean honestly, who else would let me title a post their AIM instant messenger name without disowning me? And there are a multitude of sappy reasons why I think you, more so than pretttttyyy much any other mommy I know, deserves this day of celebrations. The truth is though, that I honestly do not think that I would have been brave enough to be a Mommy without you.   Motherhood was a journey you always knew you would take…  But it scared me too much.  ------------------------- Colleen took on motherhood like a rock star.   Things that would have overwhelmed me and terrified others never showed their face in our conversations. Colleen taught me that the scary stuff is what prepares us for motherhood.   The tough parts of preparing for a baby are life’s way of showing us what’s to come; showing us that we are ready, we are a...

So I was two minutes away from calling 911 or getting a saw... In general I am hyperbolic, but not in this situation.  This was real.  This was really shitty. It was dinner time (the bane of my existence), yet strangely things were going really well.  Lucy was coloring quietly (gotta love girls).  John went into the family room to poop.  He does this thing where he likes to have privacy (full-blown potty training should be a blast).  So in between the vegetable stir-fry I kept checking on him.  I heard the immediate "no" as in get away mom, I am busy.  Cool dude, because so am I . He got to playing with this wooden rocking chair we have.  Instead of sitting in it the regular way (too easy) he flipped it over.  When I checked on him again ("nooooo") he was using it as a way of shielding himself from the girls and as a bar to push and grunt from (gotta love boys). And then a minute later... I heard cries.  I scooted the 10...

The way Amy and her crew do teacher appreciation week. I never know it's coming until there are pastries and bagels in the faculty room, but this week is teacher appreciation week.  Amy and I seem to be celebrating in different ways (her school appears to have showered their teachers with a food truck festival, while mine got breakfast) but the point is we are celebrating. I know a lot of professions don't have days or weeks that celebrate the hard work they do so I won't make this long, but it is true that teaching can often be a thankless job.  So even though the extra food and coffee is nice it's the real thank yous from students that make the difference. On Monday morning there was a letter addressed to me from an alternative high school.  I thought it was weird, but intriguing.  When I opened it I saw a one-page hand-written note from a student I had this year who was expelled.  Details are not important, but let's just say it's pretty hard to get e...

I should've titled this:  things that get me through the day. Anyone who knows me knows I love being a mom.  I also still really love teaching.  Both of these "jobs" are fulfilling and oh so important.  Both of them could also be equally challenging, frustrating and just plain exhausting.  But here I am on Saturday night...I made it another week.  I must be doing something right (or just doing the same thing over and over again to the point that I am delusional). So this is how I get through: 1.  My 4pm coffee.  No one gets in the way of my afternoon coffee.  Ever. 2.  The nights I don't wash my hair. I wash it every other night (even when working out).  I know it's better for my hair and it gives me 30 more minutes (no blow dry or straighten).  30 precious moments that I can fit in a Watch Happens Live episode or more likely get more cleaning or grading done. 3.  My no daycare drop off days.  Since my moms ...