To My Friends
Came across this article while wasting time perusing Facebook. I don't click on a lot of articles (who has the time), but this one seemed worth a minute.
Amy and I often talk about the worries and guilt that we experience as full-time working moms. A lot of it stems from lack of time with our kids. We have to go to work everyday, so there are numerous hours EVERY DAY that we miss out on. I once calculated all the hours in a year that I miss. I don't remember the number, but let's just say it made me sob. How could I possibly be a good mom if I am not present? Ok, I'll stop complaining and feeling bad for myself. I have made some peace with it since (that's a lie..I worry about it all the time).
If I give all that I have to my children and all that's left to my husband and all that's left to my job and all that's left of that to my family, and then the little bit that is left for me then what is left for friends?
Not much. Sometimes, nothing at all.
I know this isn't good. I have felt guilty about it for awhile. I have even admitted to myself that I know I'll regret it the next year and 5 and 10 years from now.
But I don't fix it.
At the end of a typical day I have woken up with toddlers, taught 150 sixteen year-olds, and played with toddlers for 5 hours. Meal-making, cleaning, working out, grading and general chores fill in the gaps. I don't have it in me to go out for a drink (or a coffee) or even talk on the phone. I am SPENT.
But I have friends that need attention - they deserve it. Many of my friends have been by my side for 20+ years. Yet, sometimes it's hard to remember the last time we talked (not texted). In fact, Amy and I often talk through this blog. I know what's going on with her by reading her entries. A sign of the times for sure - one that is both awesome and crappy all at the same time.
So the article is nice because it validates my problem. I am not the only one. Phew. You don't have to talk on the phone for an hour in order to be a good friend. Texting is good. Texting is great. I have to do more of it. I could use my lunch break to check in with people in my life (instead of using it as 45 minutes to get more work done). Also, I am fully capable of writing a nice note or dropping off a little gift to my dear friends...heck this doesn't even involve
actual talking (I will do anything not to use my voice more).
I can't hide behind my busy lifestyle all the time. Yes I work my ass off. Yes I am raising two kids. Yes I have a husband. Yes I need to stay fit.
Yes, I need to keep the friends that I have.
Yes, I need to have connections in life with strong, funny and compassionate women.
Yes, it might be nice to tell this to their faces instead of hiding behind this blog.
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| Moms night out. |
If I give all that I have to my children and all that's left to my husband and all that's left to my job and all that's left of that to my family, and then the little bit that is left for me then what is left for friends?
Not much. Sometimes, nothing at all.
 |
| Um? |
I know this isn't good. I have felt guilty about it for awhile. I have even admitted to myself that I know I'll regret it the next year and 5 and 10 years from now.
But I don't fix it.
At the end of a typical day I have woken up with toddlers, taught 150 sixteen year-olds, and played with toddlers for 5 hours. Meal-making, cleaning, working out, grading and general chores fill in the gaps. I don't have it in me to go out for a drink (or a coffee) or even talk on the phone. I am SPENT.
But I have friends that need attention - they deserve it. Many of my friends have been by my side for 20+ years. Yet, sometimes it's hard to remember the last time we talked (not texted). In fact, Amy and I often talk through this blog. I know what's going on with her by reading her entries. A sign of the times for sure - one that is both awesome and crappy all at the same time.
So the article is nice because it validates my problem. I am not the only one. Phew. You don't have to talk on the phone for an hour in order to be a good friend. Texting is good. Texting is great. I have to do more of it. I could use my lunch break to check in with people in my life (instead of using it as 45 minutes to get more work done). Also, I am fully capable of writing a nice note or dropping off a little gift to my dear friends...heck this doesn't even involve
actual talking (I will do anything not to use my voice more).
I can't hide behind my busy lifestyle all the time. Yes I work my ass off. Yes I am raising two kids. Yes I have a husband. Yes I need to stay fit.
Yes, I need to keep the friends that I have.
Yes, I need to have connections in life with strong, funny and compassionate women.
Yes, it might be nice to tell this to their faces instead of hiding behind this blog.
 |
| Also, it may be nice to relive this moment. |
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