Please don't be 3.....

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Please don't be 3.....


  I can't explain the anxiety that comes along with having a child that doesn't sleep well.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times from the age of 0-12 months that we received 5 hours of consecutive sleep.  I used to DREAD making small talk with people when Colin was an infant because the FIRST question a new mom is asked is, "hows the baby sleeping".  I always wanted to look them dead in the eye and scream, Like fucking SHIT.  I never did... I smiled and tried to change the conversation... 
  Also... when did a baby sleeping through the night at 4 weeks old become a milestone?  Babies are babies!  ughhh.... I digress....  

At 12 months, things started to turn bright.  The beginning of the school year was lovely and Colin learned that Mommy & Daddy NEED a full night's sleep to function as parent's and teachers.  I started to think that maybe ye olden days of sleepless nights were behind us.... Then, the first daycare cold hit us. We had a rough few nights, but that was it... a wake up or two.  Nothing we couldn't handle, and nothing Colin even really seemed to notice.  

Then, the second daycare cold hit... and this was a nasty, booger filled, coughing fit of a cold.   The night time wake ups began almost immediately.  It's been over a month now and we've had it.  

I have come to terms with Colin's sleepless nights.  I go to bed earlier than I would like to make up for it, and when I am up with him, I try to enjoy the snuggles because I know they won't last forever. 

BUT what I really have to admit is that when I hear that cry... that first little whimper through the monitor I bargain with myself.  Don't check the time yet...  try and guess what time it is before you look.  and always.. ALWAYS i say to myself, "Please don't be 3".  3 as in 3am.  3AM as in my former favorite time to hit the sack after a night of partying at Elmer's!

Before 3am I KNOW I can get myself and Colin back to bed and still have a decent 2 hours before my alarm.  But there is just something about that 3AM time... before it.. I can handle anything... after it, and I fall apart...  

Maybe I'm sleep deprived as I write this... but mostly I'm thinking, please don't be 3 the next time I hear that sweet little voice call out "momma".









p.s.  I scheduled this post to automatically upload at 3am for dramatic effect.  <3 





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