Dance Moms?

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The view from the glass.

Now that my kids are a bit older, I've started to depart from "mommy and me" classes to more send em' in and watch through the window classes.  This is a different phase of motherhood that I enjoy for many reasons - less chasing more stillness, more time to check my phone and sometimes I get to chat with other moms.

When I don't have another kid to chase while one is taking a class (which is rare) then those 45 minutes can be golden.

Unless you share those 45 minutes with people who don't realize how annoying they are.  While trying to watch Lucy prance, balance and attempt a cartwheel I overheard two moms compete back and forth over whose daughter is better, smarter, sweeter and of course taller.  As I had free time and couldn't really scoff (out loud) I had to record their conversation via my own notes.  Highlights include:

1.  "My cleaning lady"-  I know normal people have them too, but when you mention her three times, what point are you really trying to make?
2.  Direct quote: "I would never let me son eat more than one munchkin" - You really are a saint.
4.  An over 5 minute discussion on weight and height percentiles.  It went back and forth like a ping ball and only ended when one mother repeatedly stated her daughter is off the scale for height (but not of course for weight).  - No one cares...not even your doctor. 
5. Before I could almost take no more, one mother finally pulled her spade card, "Well my daughter (3 years old) has already been recruited for the (insert hoity CT town name) basketball league." -  I lost it.  

Thanks you two for reminding me to bring ear buds next week.  I really don't want to be that mom, but you've really tied my hands.  See you next week where I'll be bringing munchkins to bribe my son all whilst thinking about my daughter's WNBA career.

Love you, not really.


The face of mother of the year.

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